UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
