just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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