i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
