just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize