ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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