i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
