There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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