omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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