Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
