I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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