Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
