I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
