All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Shame is for Republicans.
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