Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He? As in you personified your dick?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
