i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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