i would punch a child for taco bell
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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