There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
