i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
