Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
