walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
