we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize