Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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