I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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