her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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