oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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