I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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