i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
