I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
