Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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