So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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