I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
