I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
