You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize