don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
