What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
