I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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