Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize