I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
