we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
