but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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