Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the raccoons are back...
Randomize