nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
