It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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