the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I didn't notice because vodka
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
