unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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