OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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