Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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