he wants to bone in the snuggie
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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