I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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