Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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