smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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