need another drink. this is the easiest way
Your dad touched me again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
