Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
