peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
