she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
