Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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