This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
