I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
