it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
porn star boner night. come get it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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